Fear

I have been working with my daughter specifically on some fear issues. I feel determined to teach my girls to push on through the fear and not let fear keep them from moving forward in an area. Just recently we read 2 Timothy 1:7
 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
 As we are memorizing this verse and walking forward, the Lord reminds me that some of my former fear issues tend to raise their ugly heads.

What do I fear?

*I fear working on this language but still not being able to communicate with those around me. (ie. Carry on basic conversations)

*I fear being alone and not having friends to hang with.

*I fear getting fat.

Ok, I said it. Right now, those are some of my biggest fears—yes, and I recognize that 2 of them are vainly selfish and related to me. (I won’t even go into the fears related to my children at this time)

Psalms 32:3 says, “When I kept things to myself I felt weak deep inside me.”

So, instead of not putting a name on it like I can tend to do when I am going about my busy days, I will put a name on it and confess it. I know this fear is not from the Lord, so I am going to confess it to him (and to you). If I am not careful, I can start to feel dread, hopeless feelings when I don’t put a label on my feelings.

Isaiah 41:9-10 New Living Translation (NLT) says

 I have called you back from the ends of the earth,
saying, ‘You are my servant.’
For I have chosen you and will not throw you away.
 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

So, now, I have a choice. Am I going to practice what I preach or am I going to give into fear?

What do you fear?

Pushing through the fear in His strength,
Jamie

God Be Merciful To Me

What a whirlwind of a few weeks! God has been faithful. He has been good. Started language back today and was reminded after just one day, how much language takes out of me. It makes me a little less willing to engage with my family, a little less likely to want to look for those contacts, missing PE shirts, etc. I’m making recordings that I store on my computer in ITunes and they play in a loop. After the last one played the next track to play was Jars of Clay, “Lord Be Merciful To Me,” and I thought it was very timely! I need his mercy to make it through my days esp. when I am in language study!

Here are the words:

God be merciful to me on Thy grace, I rest my plea
Plenteous in compassion Thou
Blot out my transgressions now

Wash me, make me pure within
Cleanse, oh, cleanse me from my sin

My transgressions I confess
Grief and guilt my soul oppress
I have sinned against Thy grace
And provoked Thee to Thy face

I confess Thy judgment just
Speechless, I, Thy mercy trust

I am evil born in sin
Thou desirest truth within
Thou alone my Savior art
Teach Thy wisdom to my heart

Make me pure, Thy grace bestow
Wash me whiter than the snow

Gracious God, my heart renew
Make my spirit right and true
Thy salvation's joy impart
Steadfast make my willing heart
Steadfast make my willing heart

Broken, humbled to the dust
By Thy wrath and judgment just
Let my contrite heart rejoice
And in gladness hear Thy voice

From my sins, oh, hide Thy face
Blot them out in boundless grace
Now, you might ask….”What sin are you confessing?” Well, since you asked…. :>

I’ve been reading in Numbers lately, about the Israelites complaining in the wilderness. (Why do I have to be in language study AGAIN?) I must confess that tends to be me! Nope, I don’t tend the have the optimistic outlook of Joshua and Caleb, but instead tend to see what are hard, needs to be changed or fixed about a situation. At one point in the story Moses says, “I wish the Lord would give his spirit to all of them,” and then I think: “I HAVE His spirit. There is another time in the story that the Lord says to Moses, “Do you think I am weak? Now you will see if I can do what I can say.”

Last wk, riding in the car K and I were having a conversation. I was trying to get him to understand the seriousness of this menopausal brain lag and confusion and I was complaining about not being able to remember things. K looked at me and said, “honey, I think this is going to be one of those times when you are going to have to rely on God and his faithfulness. His faithfulness to help you remember.”

Gracious God, my heart renew
Make my spirit right and true
Thy salvation's joy impart
Steadfast make my willing heart
Steadfast make my willing heart

Broken, humbled to the dust
By Thy wrath and judgment just
Let my contrite heart rejoice
And in gladness hear Thy voice

From my sins, oh, hide Thy face
Blot them out in boundless grace

God be merciful to me on Thy grace, I rest my plea
Plenteous in compassion Thou
Blot out my transgressions now

New School yr

Here we are again at the beginning of a new school yr. It is hard to believe. Malia is a junior, Savannah a sophomore, Noah in 8th grade and Sage in 7th. This is the beginning of the 2nd week of school. The sun is shining right now but it's been a very rainy week. Kel and I have decided to do something different this yr. We are taking a course at Hope in Ft. Worth early on Monday mornings. It is a counseling course...or rather a living in community and helping those with serious problems type of course that we hope to be able to incorporate into our ministry here.
Please pray for us. I am still in jetlag so feeling a serious slowness after getting up that early this morning but we are committed and grateful for the opportunity to be a part of something Hope related. It's been a long time. Modern technology makes it possible and the commitment and hard work of Sallie and Randy to make it happen.
I'm still unpacking and reorganizing the house and am putting off getting started this morning. i just do not know where to put all of the things. :> We are considering moving the boys upstairs but are not sure if that is the best thing to do or not. We need to sell our elliptical along with 2 beds. I would like to clear out more books but it's really hard for me to do that, esp, since it is so hard to get books here. The Kindle makes it a little easier to do that.
The ATM machine ate my card on Sat. so I need to call and find out what is up with that. I, also need to go up to the school at take a check for Malia's ACT. Tonight for supper we will have meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. Kel is still getting all his tickets together for his travels this weekend. Pray for him because the Thai Leaders training he has been so excited about starts on Sat.

A New Sis!

Prov 8: 34-35 "For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord.
But those who miss me injure themselves. All who hate me love death.”
Finding life…..this is why we are here and this is why we are doing what we are doing. God continues to amaze us. Last night, the ladies went back to visit a couple of the girls they met last week and S was very excited to see them. She was like an excited child when they shared with her that Jesus is not dead…..”He’s Alive!” She jumped up and down and shouted, “He’s Alive!” Then she told them she really, really wanted to pray and believe and after they prayed with her she said, “I believe, I promise, I promise!”
A few blocks away we were sharing with another lady in a bar a few blocks away. She had never heard the name of Jesus before and didn’t have a clue the difference between Christianity and Buddhism. She did not want us to pray with her or even share a blessing with her. She enjoyed visiting with us, though and would not let us pay for our own drinks (her husband owned the bar). Pray for her and for her to continue to remember our conversation. On our way back to the car we met two other girls that we promised to come back and visit next week.
Now we will follow up with S. Please continue to pray for her and pray for us to have wisdom as we disciple her. Keep praying that we are able to locate the two believers in the foot massage places near the Empress. One of the girls and I will go this weekend and try to find them.

What???

God continues to amaze us. He has brought us to people who have been involved in the ministry before—one has even decided to join us. He has confirmed our leanings for the purpose of the group not to be getting the girls out but to take them the good news. This past week two ladies had some exciting conversations. They prayed that God would go before them and give them opportunities to talk with the girls. They also asked God to confirm we are going in the right direction. God answered their prayers. One of the ladies noticed some of the “girls” reading tracts. It seems like someone had come before them on that day, sowing the seed. She was able to encourage them to read them. They ended up at another place—saw the same tract and were able to have some good conversations with two ladies about the tracts they were reading. Some of the conversation went like this:
"Did you know that you don't have to give money to God? He will help you even if you don't pay him." She responded. "Really?"
One of the girls mentioned that she was having difficulty praying to God because her English wasn’t very good. She was encouraged that God could hear her Th-ai prayers and she could pray to God in Th-ai. This was also new to her.
Please continue to pray for God to lead and direct us. We have heard about two Christian ladies that work in the area that we want to try to find. Pray that God will lead us to them. Also pray that God will continue to guide each step that we take. It has been a surprise to see God using the different strengths and gifts of the ladies to work together in this ministry. It is truly a pleasure and privilege to be walking this path together.

What does she look like?

What does a bar girl look like coming to a conversation class? What form of transportation does she take? What is she wearing? Does she always look like a bar girl? Or does she sometimes look like a student? As I stood outside the hotel and waited for someone to show up I pondered these questions. I’m guessing they don’t come in tuk tuks or taxi’s. Those are too expensive--Probably not in vans or cars either. I’m fairly sure she is not the women with a scarf on her head. There sure were a lot of them today. I’m pretty sure she’s not the middle aged over dressed woman or the younger nicely dressed one for that matter. Could she be the one in jeans who walked by with that young man who had the oversized purse? Could she be the two that walked in dressed in red lace and white satin painted to the hilt? I watched them walk in. Possibly. They never came back out. Their clothes didn’t exactly match the normal clientele of the hotel. Would it be the young woman in short shorts running across the walk way? I noticed a baby bottle in her hand. I’m pretty sure that is not one of the girls we talked to. What does a bar girl look like coming to a conversation class? Well, the answer to that question is yet to be determined as we didn’t have one show up for Coffee and Conversation today.

What did we learn from this? Perhaps we are on the right track considering taking things slower than faster. I think it’s quite telling that we didn’t even really know what to expect them to look like. We need to get more information about what their life is like outside of the bars, as well as inside of the bars and what their needs are. Thankfully, he is providing opportunities for us to do this. The more I hear and understand about this ministry it doesn’t sound like it has been that successful in this city in the past. Am I discouraged? Maybe a little bit. A teeny, tiny little bit. Because I know God has called us to do this and we are taking one step at a time in obedience to him. I trust that he knows where they were today. He knows the number of hairs on their head. I am grateful to him. Why didn’t they come? Maybe the hotel we picked was too nice for them to come. We can trust him to make clear our next step---Just our next step forward. That’s what we are asking for. I'll let you know when I find out what they look like. I'm guessing she's a lot like you and me.

Moving forward....

We continue to move forward with these girls in fear and trembling. I laugh, as I thought about the other night. There I was....at 10 pm at night--walking down the streets in CM--without my husband, trying to engage people. For those of you who haven't been around me in a long while, I know it's hard for you to imagine that after 15 years of living in Asia and not being able to communicate like I would like with those around me, I have become an introvert. Not only am I an introvert, but I am a Morning introvert--which basically means I get up early and am pretty much down for the count by 8:30. (that means pretty useless) I had a long day of basketball so we were unable to go out until 8pm. The week was full so we decided we couldn't wait for time on the schedule we were just going to have to do it and so 8pm was the time. We needed to follow up with the girls we had taken the gift bags to.
Six of us went out this time. We spent time before praying that God would lead us to ONE person. This time we took small cards inviting the girls to Coffee and Conversation at a nearby hotel on Sat. afternoon. I have to say when we planned on Coffee and Conversation on Sat. our thoughts were one or two people might come. We decided on the hotel because it was easy. We knew the girls would know it and honestly, I didn’t have time to go down there and scope around for another place. We decided on 3pm because I may have another child playing in a basketball tournament until later in the day—probably not—but may.
Three of us stood around the corner praying while three of us went back to the first bar. (never thought I would say that in a post, did you?) We recognized some of the girls as we talked to them. While we were talking, one girl was coming out with someone and tried to come and talk to us. She was one of the ones we had met with before. It was encouraging to us that she wanted to talk to us again. One of the other girls seemed very open and gave us her name and seemed to want to engage us more. We hope she will come on Sat.
We then went back to join our Pray-ers and regrouped and prayed some more. Then we walked down the street, mapping out the place and looking for others. In an unexpected turn of events we were able to invite a larger group who seemed surprised that we would offer this to them. She went inside and asked permission to come and told us they all would be coming.
We also met a lady boy on the street and were able to pray with him for his new business. It was an interesting turn of events when he told us he is a Christian—or was one in university. We need prayers regarding whether to follow up there or not. He gave us his telephone number.
So, here we are….getting ready for Sat. We are planning to meet in the hotel coffee shop because that was the original plan. We will be thrilled to have one show up—remember we prayed for ONE. :> (I know, O me of little faith!) We had to pull some others in to help us since only two of us can be there on Sat. just in case we have more than that. We have a tentative plan but will adjust as needed. We are focusing on conversation…hoping to make it more like an English club than an actual class. Most of these girls have had some English instruction.
One of the other things I keep asking God about is that we are all mom’s-- with other jobs with very little time-- to put into this kind of ministry. We can’t think about it, plan and focus on it all day because we don’t have time to do this. We send up SOS prayers, spend hrs in the middle of the night praying, pray before, during and afterwards and just ask God to move. Not to mention the fact that none of us has studied the language full time or really have very good language. Several of us can spit out words and phrases and one of us can carry on a decent basic conversation. What are we doing? Right now, we are just being obedient, moving forward one step at a time. We know he’s told us to move forward so we are just doing the next thing that we know to do.
Please pray for us on Sat. Pray for the girl(s) who are coming and pray for wisdom and direction for how to share with them. Pray that God communicates clearly through us. Pray that God will already be stirring their hearts and drawing them to him. And, then pray that God will make it clear the next step forward.

Basketball Ending

It's been a busy week with basketball tournaments. The JV girls won their tournament in a tight match with CMIS for the final victory. It was a night we will always remember since they lost this same game last yr and had to fight hard to win. It wasn't easy for us mamas sitting on the sideline to watch the girls shooting free throws with tears streaming down their faces.

They were asked to be the fill in team for the Varsity tournament this weekend and will play Grace Varsity girls in the morning semifinals. They had a fun time last night in the last game they played and decided to "play for fun" because they didn't really want to win so they could play our girls in the semi's. They want our girls to win the varsity tournament and did not want to play them in the final game. The varsity girls are better in skill and formation than we are but we hope to give them a run for their money in speed and determination. Last night they did a few funny antics like Starfish during the game. You can ask Savannah about it if you are curious. It was nice to see them playing for fun after the intensity of their last few games.

Our boys won their tournament on Wed. also. We had a big upset with CMIS where we came from behind to beat them. Our boys were not playing in their best form in that first half. One of the guys scored 3 3 pointers in the last quarter. This is Under 13 yr olds! We were astounded! Our Noah got back in his groove the 2nd half of the game and their tall guy only scored 2 points the second half of the game. (Noah plays center) Sage went on to really show his skills in the last game of the tournament. I'm pretty sure his position is point guard. He's the one who takes the ball up and down the court for all of those lay ups.

This basketball gives us a fun, free source of entertainment a few months every year. The boys will have to work really hard to make the team next year since they are moving up to the JV category. There is much competition at that level.

Achilles Heel

My sweet friend asked me today….”What is your Achilles heel?”
Wikipedia says
“An Achilles’ heel is a deadly weakness in spite of overall
strength that can actually or potentially lead to downfall.”
She said, “You need to know your Achilles heels so you can bring them before Jesus recognize them and place them before him when they appear. There is nothing new under the sun—Satan is going to keep going after you in the same ways. Recognize them for what they are and let Jesus speak to them.”
What is your Achilles heel?
What keeps going through your mind again and again that cause you to feel unfit for ministry? What keeps going around and around in your head that make you feel like a failure at being a wife and mother? What keeps going through your mind again and again that makes you feel like you’re not a good friend?
My friend is very special to me because she’s not an old friend. No, she’s not one of these that have been around for years and years and no she probably isn’t going to be one that will be sticking around for years. God has brought her into my life for a season. What I most appreciate about my friend is that she has some of the same spiritual gifts that I have. She is also a truth seeker and truth speaker….like I tend to be. She’s older than me. And she pursues God with every fiber in her being. What a treasure this friend is to me.
Could it be living something other than moment by moment repentance? (yes, and that’s a quote from another friend!) :> “Conviction calls us to Repentance, Not shame.” How do I avoid living a cross less life? …….Moment by moment repentance and taking a good look at my Achilles heel(s). Repenting and resting in Christ’s work as I confess my sin daily and ask for his forgiveness and grace. As I do this, receiving a Godly self-forgetfulness and looking at Christ—not my sin. As this happens I receive new energy, joy, gratitude, hope, perseverance and purpose.
Sometimes I like to just kind of ignore my weak spots, my places of weakness and just kind of pretend they are not there. Or maybe confess them but that often turns into a type of ruminating of them that leads me to shame and despondency instead of conviction and repentance. They usually are not new weaknesses. They are the old ones rearing their ugly heads again and again.
I am having opportunities to live joyfully through my Achilles heel. Will I continue my quest for joy and thankfulness during the midst of it? I am thinking more on this topic and will write more later.
In the mean time….prayers are being answered. Patti recently wrote:
“My friend said that her maid wants to open up a bakery
and she really wants to teach women. The maid is a strong believer,
an incredible cook and also wants to disciple women???
My friend had no idea at the time why I was asking about her maid.
So now, we have a lead on a national partner! God is good.”
This was the day after we asked you to pray for a national partner. We have other M women here who want to be a part. Continue to pray for wisdom and direction. Pray for my partners who are meeting with another expat this week to get more info. Patti and Ann are also going back to visit the girls this week. I won’t be able to join this them week. But, God knows his agenda for me. I am hoping and praying to be back with them next week.
Blessings!

This is what Ann wrote about today:
“Long story short ... Our small team planned to distribute gift bags to the entire bar girls in our city (over a period of time). But we had no budget to do so. Last night on our walk I told Joe, "I'm just going to be George Mueller and trust that if God wants us to give gift bags, then he'll provide the funds." This morning I woke up early and prayed again that God would provide the fund if this is something he wants us to pursue. Just before lunch, Joe walked over to my office with the news. We received a very substantial financial gift from a donor we've never met to address child exploitation in Thailand. Yes! God is still moving and working.”
Yes, I have numbly been moving forward in this. There are three of us and we laugh because two of us are introverts. The other one accused us of wanting to sit in the car while she delivered the bags. And, I will admit, at first I was tempted….but when I actually spoke to the girls, gave them the bags and told them that God loves them I didn’t want to go back to the car. I just wanted to sit down with them and talk.
Yesterday, we attended a seminar led by someone nearby who is involved in this type of work. (not this country) Afterwards, I was a bit overwhelmed and said, “God make it clear to us if you want to move forward.” Today, we found out about the gift given for this ministry. We have many requests but here are a few:
-Wisdom in how to move forward from here
-partners from this culture who want to work with us
-The right information we need to know so we can put together a strategy to reach these girls
Next week we meet with a lady who has been involved in this ministry in a different city. Thanks for praying!

Am I A Dweller?

First posted on Friday, June 23, 2006



Am I a Dweller?
Eph 3:14-19

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Dwell….(katoikea from kato-down and oikeo-to dwell…has the idea of settling down or dwelling inside.)

How many times have I said to my husband, “I want to settle…I don’t like this endless roaming around….I NEED to settle…” ;> He cringes when he hears me say it. Then you can imagine how this makes me feel…. Guilt…I’m not trusting enough…. Or Anger…he’s expecting too much (God is too!) However, it’s not me that needs to settle. It’s God who needs to “settle down inside me,” so that I may comprehend (katalambano-mentally laying hold of God’s love—a full understanding of it)

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. “ This love is the foundation of all we do….as he dwells, we become rooted and grounded in love….as we know this love…we are filled to the measure of all the fullness of God…or another translation says, “then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

How I long to be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

So, it’s Christ that does the dwelling. However….

1 John 4:15-16
15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives (dwells) in him and he in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

Ps 90:1
Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.

Our refuge…our fortress…our settling down place.

In the Old Testament when it talks about the time of peace under King Solomon, “ During Solomon's lifetime Judah and Israel, from Dan to Beersheba, lived in safety,(dwelt) each man under his own vine and fig tree.” (I Kings 4:25) The phrase “under his own vine and fig tree,” expresses a time of quiet and security (Barnes). They were at peace….not under any apprehension or danger from enemies. They were happy…”safe and willing to think themselves so…” Able to dwell safely under the shadow of the vines by the sides of their house.

Wonder how long it took a vine to grow up by the side of their house??? (for more info re vines go to http://www.clemson.edu/extension/hgic/plants/landscape/groundcovers/hgic1101.html)

Not only were they safe but they were “willing to think themselves so.” This is the dwelling I long for.

Recently I was at a bible study and one of the ladies was sharing about being sooo homesick. The ironic thing about it is that she is Thai and had been with her parents the previous week. And then she said…” I realized I was homesick but it wasn’t my earthly home that I was homesick for, but my heavenly home.”

So many times I feel homesick….yearning for my heavenly home…in my dwelling….with vines growing up along the side of the house that I planted.

MY Soul Talking

First published Saturday, April 09, 2005

My Soul Talking....
I found out today that a friend has returned to the States. This is a lady that I have not known for a long time but I instantly bonded with. I knew that she had gone back before because of suffering depression here. We had not known one another long enough to talk about that. I had shared with her some of my struggles. She could relate and had shared a book with me about fear and depression. It seems our hubbies ran into each other in the BKK airport yesterday and spent hours talking. It was probably good for K to talk with someone else whose wife struggles. Deep struggles....intense struggle.... Wanting to return to the States type of struggles. I have mixed feelings about how much I should write about this here. I want to live an honest and open life before others and that is fine when there is not so much struggle. It has been a little better lately. Maybe because I'm so busy I don't have time to think about it. But the down days still come with a vengance.

Larry Crabb says, "I've always been suspicious of talk about joy. Most of it seems to encourage denial. We pretend we're not hurting. And most of what we call joy depends on blessings. Get it right and life will work. Then you can be full of joy and praise God for his goodness." Then he goes on to say that this is religion that leads to pride and despair....not the brokenness that comes with true revival of the heart. "Religion keeps the power of God merely trickling through our lives, like water through a twisted hose. Only brokenness straightens out the kinks.Then revival comes. Living water gushes. Passion flows. What is most alive within us, a passionate desire for God himself, comes pouring out. As Habakkuk waited for the Lord in touch times, he saw how he had not yet abandoned himself to God's vision."

What would it mean to abandon myself to God's vision? I like what Habakkuk 2: 1 says, "I will climb up into my watchtower now and wait to see what the Lord will say to me and how he will answer my complaint." I am so full of complaining. My spirit is complaining.....

"Brokenness precedes revival.... but what precedes brokeness? .....unmanageable vision....When we see a vision that we simply cannot achieve we are humbled. but when we aim so high we are forced to face how inadequate our adequacies are, we fall flat on the ground and realize our need for spiritual power....and we admit we don't have it....even though others may observe us thriving ....there's no power coming out of us that stirs someone's appetite for God."

I am inadequate. Inadequate to live this life. I should be teaching others...able to show them God's power. My "little" sins get in the way of spiritual power flowing through me toward spiritual vision. The sin of wanting MY way, my comforts, not wanting to take the time or the effort it would take to learn the language and get into the culture. Just wanting to operate in "my" world. Not wanting to be embarrassed because I don't understand how I offended without meaning to. Wanting to just hole up in my house on my couch...dreaming that I was somewhere surrounded by family and friends.

I am inadequate.

Dear God, I need you to change my heart and fill me with your adequacies. My sinful heart doesn't want to change. I don't want to put the effort into it. Hosea 7: 13-14 says, "How terrible it will be for my people who have deserted me...I want to redeem them but they have only spoken lies about me...my complaining....They do not cry out to me with sincere hearts, instead they sit on their couches and wail..." Have mercy on me, O God and fill me with your adequacies! Bring me Revival!

posted by vcitywife @ 2:07 PM

Where did the time go?

Malee has been accepted back at GIS for her junior yr. (next yr) Where has all the time gone? It is amazing to me that two yrs ago we decided to take her out. We are so encouraged by the independence and motivation we have seen in her this past yr. She has matured and finally taken an interest in her school work. True healing has occurred in her heart and in her body. I enjoy hanging out with her so much. I will really miss her when she goes back full time.

My girls are back in the same room. We didn't like the distance that was coming between them and had such fond memories of the best friend days when they shared a room together. We decided they each had character issues that would benefit from sharing a room again so we put them back together. It will also help tremendously with our electric bill in the hot season. Difficulty is the room is small and there wasn't much to be done about the close quarters. How did we make it their room and not just Malia's without spending a bucket of money? We prayed and asked for wisdom and unexpectedly we found 2 loft beds (used) for a very good price a few days ago. I still questioned and wondered if this was a good plan but decided to go ahead and get them and we could always resale them if they did not work out. The interesting thing is that when we first moved back to CM I wanted to purchase this type of loft bed--no frills, basic Index type furniture--but could not find this basic model anywhere. We purchased HUGE ones that did not fit in the small bedrooms we have and ended up getting rid of them. Now---5 yrs later we end up with exactly what I wanted in the first place. Is this as case of not waiting on God? I'll try to post a picture when we get them set up. We will need to figure out how to make them semi-matching bed covers and what to do about the dark purplish curtains that Savy doesn't really like.

Trying to start a new ministry with some friends here focused on red light district girls. Wondering how God will continue to lead and direct us when the three of us have limited time to put into this and very little language. Pray for wisdom to know which steps to take and how to move forward. I'm also substitute teaching in health class this week. We will be talking about pregnancy and issues involved with this.

I have lost almost thirty pounds in the last 6 months. I intentionally dieted and now am faced with needed to change my diet on a permanent basis. There are some food in-tolerances I'm dealing with. I need wisdom and discipline to discern how to move forward from here and what foods to eliminate. I know that milk products give me a problem but now I'm wondering about bread. I don't think it's gluten because I seem to do ok with other foods that have gluten in them--it just seems to be the bread issue that I have the harder time with. I would like to lose more pounds but don't want to strictly diet again. After all, rounder middle aged women look younger, right? :>

My boys are growing and changing. I have one very much man/child. It is so much fun watching this process. The other little one still has a ways to go but I am so thankful that he is still boyish. I'm thinking he doesn't quite believe that his time will come. His feet are bigger than mine. I keep telling him he will be bigger than me. Both of them are enjoying sports and enjoying friends. Enjoying school? Now that would be another issue. The younger one said to me, "Mom, Asian parents actually like for their kids to do better in school than in sports." Ha. What have I communicated to this child? Hopefully, I have communicated to him that I LOVE who God has created him to be and I LOVE that he enjoys sports so much and I am OK with who he is academically. We've been discussing who makes the best grown ups--good sportsmen or good academia's and we've concluded there are wise men who are in both categories.